It's tough being legendary. That's what I tell myself when I realize people aren't going to stop stalking me. A certain tub of lard has linked to two of my YouTube videos in a desperate attempt to make me look bad on his failed blog.

He only makes himself look bad with this, and I am happy knowing he will fail at life because he's allowed society to define him. He sees them as the "enemy." As a creature he must defeat. And thus, by intentionally becoming what society would hate, he is as much as (or more of) a slave to societal expectations than those who attempt to fit in.

He will never be truly happy because he always needs to have a battle to fight. He always has to have things in black and white, with enemies and allies. And I sit squarely in his enemies zone, with all of his internet rage flailing lardtardically in my general direction. That means I have already won. Because he cannot stop obsessing over me, linking to posts I made, I am the one who defines him. Simply by making a link or a video that would bait him, I could end him.

But instead, I know he'll ruin himself. He's pretty well on the path. And I know if anyone reads this, they'll tell me to get over myself or to stop acting self-important. Fuck that. Not falling for it. I am important. If I wasn't, why do angry fat men stalk me so readily? Maybe I smell like cheetos.