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Tuesday, July 04, 2017

Why I despise gBikes

There is nothing worse than biking behind a gBike. These are little hipster bikes, pedaled by Google employees that seem incapable of breaking 7 mph. The intent is for these isolated Google employees to bike on Google campuses, yet these god-awful bikes are now spreading across Mountain View like some sort of virus.


And it's not Google employees riding them on the Google campus. They are being taken by random people. They can be spotted all the way by El Camino and Rengstorff, miles away from the Google Campus where the gBikes have their "nest".

Four words: GET A REAL BIKE

These Google bikes are a joke. They have no gears, just a little bell to alert people that you're passing by. When I biked to Google as a temp back in 2012-13, I appreciated their bike-friendly policy, but I couldn't stand being stuck behind some Google employee riding a bike slower than a jogger.

And now, I see random kids joy-riding these same useless pieces of metal as if they are toys. I don't know why Google acts this way. They seem to be stuck in some permanent child-like state, providing random toys instead of investing in real transportation initiatives.

TIPS FOR GOOGLE

1. Grow up. Seriously. It's like you guys are a bunch of overpaid children, playing some version of SimTown with Mountain View. How about you turn off the PokeMon Go and actually look into expanding BART to Foothill College?

2. Show temps more respect. Just because someone didn't pass all of those bogus interviews to get the job at Google doesn't mean they are subhuman. I was a temp but I was one of the best. I reviewed 88 books in a single week for Google Play.

3. How about we build some more restaurants in Mountain View? You can build 10,000 new housing units but where are the people going to eat?

That's all. Few will read this. Social media has this wall where it doesn't let Jesse Radin reveal the secrets of the super-duper secret agent ElectricSex.






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