Proudly Geekly

Friday, March 13, 2015

Randomize Everything!

People as a whole are too predictable. It's gotten to the point where I feel like I can predict the whole universe. I walk into a Carl's Jr at 12:13 PM yesterday to order a Mile High Bacon Burger and I'm number 27! It's a sign that Taylor Swift and I are destined to make beautiful music together.

And I know that. It sounds crazy, but our birthdays mean something. I was supposed to be born on 5/29/1985. A memorial day baby. But somehow I stuck inside my mother's womb another week and did not come out until 6/7/1985 at 7:29 PM (PDT) 6:29 PM (PST).

I am a gemini and I do have a twin named Heather.
I think she's the reason I was born late.

Our mothers with babies in the wombs could all communicate.

My name. Jesse Nicholas Radin. My mom and dad used to play random games like Rogue and Zork and change my name every month before they officially named me.

When my mom saw me in the hospital for the first time she said "He doesn't look like a Nick." And thus I became Jesse.

And most of you (former St. Mary's College students) know where this leads.

Two years later, some woman names her daughter Jesse. I don't remember her exact details. But I know she was born in July 1987 and is a blonde, like me.

This begins the conspiracy of the Jesse.

It all started with a song in 1981.
Jessie's Girl.

Jessie, to me, has always been the feminine spelling of Jesse. But others don't see it that way. I've known men that go by Jessie and people have spelled my name Jessie or Jessy before. I didn't know about the other Jesse until 2006.

January 2006. Jan Term. Most schools don't have this, but it's awesome. St. Mary's College  lets you take one class of your choice for a month, so it's almost like summer camp at school instead of hanging out at home. In Jan 2004 I took Aristophanes and the Origins of Comedy. 2005... I took Business and Society in Russia.

2006 (after the invention of Facebook) I took Star Trek class... we read books about morals and ethics of Star Trek. My friends John Stephen De Mattei (Dennis, feel free to threaten me to take my blog down, you old bag) and Markie Lehner and I all took this class together.

We were three. I was the little lightning nerd dweeb with Thunder power. John Stephen was the engineer with all his tools. And Markie was the cavalry, because he went to a Catholic high school and meant well but always was a bit behind... charging at everything.

I've always imagined my life to be Final Fantasy IV as a kid. My dad and I used to rent the game all the time instead of buying it. Back then I wondered why he didn't just buy it but I know now. It was a community game. and Markie's family and my family both went to the same Blockbuster Video when I was  7 or 8. And I imagine one time Markie's family rented that same Final Fantasy II (IV for you Aerithotakus) cartridge and he Jesse was Cecil...

And around the age of 7 when we were both in second grade... his insistence of being Markie Lehner (and not Mark, who already existed) caused him to develop "dyslexia".

While my being a little robot with his own BBS JesseNet caused me to develop hyperlexia... sort of.

Dyslexia and hyperlexia are just conditions.

And all of the "autistic traits" my hypochondriac shotgun owning hick of a mother Ginny "Thinkerbell" Snyder claims I've developed are mostly explained by being the older brother.

I've seen it with my own eyes/ears.

Ben Graber and Conoir Gillaspie are both the oldest of three children. They both have the same habits... using outdated slang to talk to other kids, sort of the way our parents talked to us.

The difference of course... Ben "Lushuspigeon" Graber was the oldest of three. But his two were JJ. Jeff and Julie Graber.

Jesse Radin
Ben Graber
J.S. De Mattei
Markie Lehner
Jesse Wurm
Joe O'Brien
Katie O'Brien
Danielle Panabaker

That's all.

It's January 2006 again. Jwurmy and Electricbassguy are talking for 2-3 hours on AIM about video games.

Nothing has REALLY changed since January 2006.


Crystal/DoomMonkey is the ultimate source of everything. Through Crystal (my Livejournal) I can access old memories of the world.

I used to have to fragment my mind to figure out why I felt how I did.

And that brings in the two other players.

Lightning is me. Jesse Radin.
I've known old Eh-FAG-Q for a long-ass time. He used to post on Utopia General Talk with me under "RHCS" and "RHCP" (red headed step child/red hot chili peppers) and then one night he made a new name Good Charlotte said "hahaha that's just ME, Jesse"

The one enemy is "Vitamin C" for us peoples. Kate.

When I was 15 on Utopia some stupid cunt named Vitamin C pretended to be nice to me and said she'd give me an autograph if I gave my address. So I did.

I believe this "Kate" is actually Kate Michalski. Stupid cunt I had one date with.

And that's the end, man.

Everyone fucking knows everything.

My story is complete.

Electric, HaroldtheBat, and EhFahQ cast QUADRATIC EXPLOSION ON YOU

That's Firaja, Thundaja, and Blizzaja.


The wind. The wind.
Where is the wind.

Danielle Clark. PinkICEE. A girl born 6/12/1988. The twin of Max "Jewfro/Scrawnton" Radin. As she knew more she saved me. She changed dates in my mind....

but she herself split off into two entities too powerful to destroy

1: The hot nature girl from Sky High (2005) Danielle Panabaker 9/19/1987
2. The princess Taylor 12/13/1989

And it's over.

Not joking

Danielle (fryme2zmoon) used to call me princess and she called herself prince and then Fearlesss album

and ahhhhh


I'm fucking Taylor Swift. All you fat 4chan fags can jack off to naked pictures of Kat Dennings and Hayley Williams that 4chan hackers posted once.

Good night. No luck though.