What makes me a "geek"?

I've owned this "proudlygeeky" blogger for more than a decade now, so I better have some good reasons that I'm a geek, right? Sadly someone else owns the Tumblr page and I ended up taking "wussrock" instead, but I prefer Blogger to Tumblr because I'm not a huge fan of the social justice warriors and various mindless people who do nothing but "share" random content on their pages. I thought internet blogs were about providing original content, but it seems with Tumblr and Twitter it's about reblogging/retweeting instead of actually adding something of your own.

I've always been about writing my own content. Even if it doesn't appeal to that many people, I like to write my own content and know that it is mine and mine alone.

Here now are some reasons that I claim to be a "geek".

1. I love baseball stats and simulations more than the actual games. My friend Brian once claimed that if he handed me a box score from the 1930s but replaced the names with modern players, I'd enjoy it just as much as a real game since I care more about the numbers than the players or the games. He's probably right.

2. Since 2010, I've begun "rating" every year of my life on different scales and writing up my opinion on why the year could have been better/worse. And in the beginning of 2010 I wrote out ratings of every year from 2000-09.... so it wasn't just a new project, but I retroactively rated past years of my life. Of course, that being said... perhaps retroactively rating years isn't as accurate as rating them just after they end. So far 2015 hasn't been the dream.

3. My daily wardrobe consists mainly of graphic tees and jeans. Some of the shirts aren't geeky at all, like baseball/basketball things, but others are lame like one that just says "meh" and another that says "Leeeeeroy!".

4. I enjoy/have enjoyed using various calorie counters. Not just because I wanted to lose or maintain weight, but because I enjoyed doing random barely active activities and seeing if the FitBit/BodyBugg could tell the difference between  them.

5. Ever since I was young, I've enjoyed making random graphs and charts of things in my life, and more recently, putting random crap in SPSS like music reviews of my favorite bands to see if I can find any correlation between them.

6. I eat burgers every day. I don't know if that's a "geek" thing but it defines me.

That might not be a HUGE number of things but I think those are all solid reasons that I'm a geek. I mean, it's not like I'm on trial by the Geek Squad... right? I've never worked for Geek Squad, though. Actually I recently replaced their "protection" plan with a different one from Sprint because Sprint only charges $75 to replace a phone but Best Buy charges $150. That's right... on top of the monthly fee you pay Geek Squad, you still pretty much pay the "contract" price for a replacement phone!

Have a great night and be geeky if you want to be's.

My frustrating relationship with YouThink.com

When I first joined YouThink com on July 28, 2001, it was an exciting moments. I was finally freeing myself from that phase of "face-rating websites" where you posted pictures of your faces (or bodies?) and got rated from 1 to 10. There were at least four main ones I used... RateMyFace, RateMyBody, HotOrNot, and FaceTheJury. I was a moderator on both RMF and RMB, moderating the "teen" section.

But when a lot of my RMF friends found their way to FTJ I joined as well but ended answering random poll questions that led me to YouThink.com. I ended up wanting to see the demographics on those questions and made an account on there. "Electricbassguy" couldn't fit, so I went with "Electric" over "Electricbass". And that's how I became who I am.

Over the years, YT would provide a lot for me. I've made some lifelong friendships and met somewhere around 30 people. The meetings would range from going to Buddy's mom's house and eating cookies with my mom, girlfriend, and some friends to a party where we all got drunk and embarrassed ourselves.

But these days, it's pretty clear a lot of "YTers" would be happier if I didn't exist. In their YT world, Electric never existed. Nothing made that clearer than when I was removed from their Facebook Group in April 2013. And now, when I am on "Jesse Nicholas Radin", that group doesn't exist. But for anyone else in the world if you typed in YouThink you'd quickly find the entry for their group.

Sometimes I wonder what they talk about in there. I always have considered myself a YTer but perhaps that is not what I am. YT and I have had this rocky relationship. It started back in 2002 when my mom made accounts on the site but we've made peace since then.

But in general, YT has defined me too much online and perhaps it is best that I am free of it. I still have dozens of current and former YTers on my friends list that I keep in touch with almost every day. It just saddens me that they are so eager to vote me off whatever island they have.

I've been banned quite a few times, but not like most people. A lot of people would just go out and "pornocide" and post something that got them permanently banned. I would break the most obscure and pointless rules a few times and then make blatant "alters" of myself and get my bans extended. But now that my ban is forever, it's over. They won the battle, but I will win the war. (And if you're dumb enough to think I'm trying to start an actual war, get over it. I'm not talking about anything like that.)

The site is dying, of course. I actually mean that this time. Claims of YT's deaths have been made (by Rufio the most) ever since the Journals section was developed way back in October 2001. But now, 14 years later, I would say it really is dying. I really want to re-create the awesome world YT was from 2001-07 or so.

A place where you can ask questions and have debates. I hope to hear from others regarding this. To me, YT truly is dead. They don't want me there because I've always wanted to make the site more popular and meet new people. Despite all my flaws, even my greatest YT enemies would admit I was friendly. Though perhaps too much so.

It still hurts now to realize that the people in charge of the YT Facebook group wish to exclude me entirely. But that is their choice and I can't change it. They want to live in a little world where "Electric" doesn't exist. They want to hide away from reality and cast me aside.

And that is their loss. I want to recreate the world we once had. I want to merge all my internet and college universes into one awesome discussion center (or centre?)

I know I might scare people away sometimes but that is the cost of being passionate. And I'd rather be passionate and express myself than provide some lukewarm philosophy that appeals to everyone but excites no one.

Join me and we'll make the world a better place. To all my friends. From YouThink. From LiveJournal. From St. Mary's, Irvine, and Cupertino.

And even from the face-rating sites if any of us are still connected. We will make this world better and you are awesome if you're even reading this.

Burgers for some!

I'll never be "normal".

I always wanted to be "normal" growing up. Somehow I thought that normality would lead to happiness and that it would be a simple process. But I've come to accept after all these years that it's neither something I want nor something that I can attain. I'm always going to stand out from the crowd. I'm stuck somewhere between boy and man and I don't know if I ever want to make that decision.

I have a good education, lots of marketable skills yet at the same time I still am rather naive and love going to the park on the swings like I'm a little child. I am happy with the decisions I've made and while I may not be able to "rise up the ranks" in a traditional job like I thought I would after getting my Master's degree, I know I will have a great and positive impact on this world around me.

Someday I want a wife and kids and the house with the cats and the dogs. But I'm not ready for that yet. I want to free myself and achieve my dreams  And I know I can. Normal is an illusion and I am ready to shatter it. We will rise and unite. :)

Life is Rigged

Just two days ago everything seemed to be aligned perfectly. After seven months of seeking employment I would finally once again have a steady job, better than any I had before. But just yesterday, everything changed. Apparently despite the fact that I was very good at my job the company suddenly didn't have the need any more. So now I'm $83 richer but frustrated as I try to figure out what I want to do next with my life.

I think maybe for me "working my way up" in a company isn't the correct path. There seems to be some social skills that I lack that everyone else understand innately. But I don't think I did anything wrong socially on Monday. They were all very impressed with how quickly I figured things out and it seemed like it'd be a good job that would lead somewhere.

But other than a nice catered lunch and losing a couple games of Ping-Pong, nothing has materialized. I think I'm done with this traditional path as a "jobseeker". I have so much talent and ambition and I'm willing to risk my savings to do something much bigger than what I could with someone else in charge.

I want the world to be with me on this. This is the same basic idea I've tossed around on the blog for the past two years, but I think it's time to make some genuinely educational games that are more than simple rehashes of board games or rip offs of superior products.

Life may be rigged, but I'm ready to risk it all. Join me and we will make this world a better place. I promise burgers and love.

It's all come full circle.

My life has felt like a video game sometimes. But it's one of those games with a lot of sidequests and a main story that is often changing or evolving. And it has finally come full circle and everything makes sense again. Starting tomorrow (10/5/2015) I'll begin my first "career" job with decent benefits and interesting work.

And now about the adventure that is my life. It's been a curse. Being a photographer, a writer, and everything else. But I am no longer afraid of anything. I am a force for change, for positive change. And I will do my part to make the world a better place.

There is no longer any fear or doubt left inside me. Everything makes sense and is the way it was meant to be. I am Jesse. Electric. Electricbassguy. MisterBurgers. And if you go way back, Videokid. The internet is a tool and not a way of life.

I encourage you all to go outside and express yourselves. Make some tiny changes in your life. The smallest change from a routine can work wonders.

And that's all for right now. You are all beautiful humans.